Look I need you to know first off that middle school is weird.
Don’t sit there and wonder why you’re the only one dealing with boys, caddy girls, math you can’t understand, and some chubbiness you haven’t lost. Because everyone else is too. Find comfort in knowing that right now, and in the rest of your life, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
You will grow so much over the next few years. As you grow up your interests will change, and so will your friends’ interests. You didn’t do anything wrong, people just grow apart. It’s a part of life. Let me say it again: You’re not doing anything wrong. Just be yourself. Sometimes you won’t be, and you might regret it. It’s not worth fitting in if you’re not yourself.
I need you to know that the friendships that are important will come back, they aren’t gone for forever. The friendships that are gone, are gone for a reason and they were in your life for a purpose. It’s also okay to make new friends.
Go meet some of the new kids that come to school. As it turns out, you’ll be great friends with one of them to this day. Oh and the new cute guy with the spiky hair from Florida will actually be your husband – life is funny huh?
In this phase of life it is really easy to define yourself by your status, but the labels don’t really matter. It doesn’t matter if you are popular, an athlete, a member of the band, single, dating, or all of the above. What matters is that you treat everyone around you with love, no matter what yours or their “status” is. This will be true for the rest of your life.
People will start to have “boyfriends and girlfriends” which essentially means they hang out at recess together, and maybe hold hands in the hallways. You’re not missing out on anything life-shattering. If you do get to hold someone’s hand, that’s fine too.
OH and there’s a butt-slapping contest and you’re going to actually be sad that the cute boys only slapped the popular girls’ butts. You might figure that you must not be very good-looking if no one slaps you. In fact, for a while, you might let this determine your worth. YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE than a slap on the rear end. I know this seems like the norm and life will never be bigger than this, but it is not the norm. Your worth doesn’t get to be decided from a group of immature middle school boys. You’ll figure this out pretty quick and look back on it with disgust.
You will totally have people say hurtful comments to you. People who you thought you could trust will say things about your weight, your clothes, and how your body is changing. Which quite frankly is none of their business. I want you to march forward and know these things don’t define you. Don’t hang on to them for so long and let them shake your self-confidence.
You’re also not a victim. You say some nasty comments too. Maybe you say them for a laugh or to fit in. Maybe you say them to show you’re not the nice girl all the time. The reasons why don’t really matter. Take a breath, and don’t say the things. Remember how you felt when ugly comments came your way. It’s simply not worth it. It’s also okay to just be the quiet nice girl. You are you and no-one else.
Teachers aren’t actually so mean. Trust me, you don’t know what they are going through. Try your best for them, and they will try for you. Teachers also make great mentors. Look for the ones who will listen, hug you, and tell you it’ll all be alright. These magical ones make middle school more bearable.
Keep trying hard at the things you enjoy. You’ll want to quit half the time, but there is a reason your parents won’t let you. You learn perseverance. You’ll be glad you pushed through.
Speaking of your parents, be nice to your mom and dad. They do absolutely 100% everything for you and your siblings. You don’t realize it quite yet, but they are a precious gift and you are one of the lucky ones. They are not perfect, but they work hard for you. THANK them and work just as hard to listen to them. It’s annoying to hear but they really have been around longer than you. You may think “well it was different back then,” but they have more wisdom than you realize. So for the love, no more slamming doors. Everything they’re doing, whether you like it or not, is because they LOVE you. Oh so much.
Towards the end of middle school you’ll really start to grow into your own. You start figuring out all of your likes and dislikes. You also make a big decision about the life you want to live, and it’s still paying off.
Like any time in your life, it is what you make it. I want you to enjoy sleepovers, pool parties, and trips the mall. They won’t always be around. I want you to work hard in volleyball and basketball, even if the running drills make you want to puke. Listen and watch everything around you, there is so much to learn. Be genuine, accept love, and give love.
And most importantly, it is all going to be okay. I promise.
High School is a little less weird.