My husband and I have this ridiculous fear that we will be found out. So I’m just going to share it: we’re not big coffee drinkers. I can enjoy it if it’s got all the extras that probably aren’t good for me bad stuff. But we don’t own a coffee maker. Which, I always feel bad about if we have company. Well, we have a hand-me-down Keurig which is mostly used for Brad’s hot chocolate in the winter.
Its almost something we feel shame about. We wonder when we have the occasional order at starbucks or a trendy Nashville coffee shop if we’ll be found out. He turned to me once and said, “they know, don’t they” after he ordered a hot chocolate. Honestly when I throw out words like “skinny” “almond-milk” “hazelnut” “mocha” or “latte” I only halfway know what I’m talking about. I wonder to myself. “was that a weird order?” “Was that acceptable?” It’s ridiculous, I know.
I know that’s a silly example, but I think there’s something to it. I think we all wonder from time to time if we’re doing it right and what other people are thinking; life choices and starbucks orders alike.
Another example: I will meticulously think about my outfit and think it should be some combination of what I like, what’s comfortable, and also where I’m going for the day. Does my outfit say casual beach day, chic brunch spot, Luau, fancy dinner, or coffee shop hang? I think the root of it is, I want to belong.
We have this immense desire to be apart of a tribe or a community. Truly, there is so much good that comes from being with loved ones and feeling connected we can’t help but want to belong.
But we wonder, If we are truly ourselves and showed all of our insides, who would love us? So we put walls up. We don’t show that stuff. We worry that we won’t meet the standard. Even being a pretty vulnerable person, there are things I don’t want to share. I want to belong, so I can’t share too much, right?
Here’s the thing though. I’m reading “Everybody Always” by Bob Goff, and he has a great quote I’ve been thinking about lately.
“Grace draws a circle around us and says, we’re all in.”
Coffee Drinker or not, rich or poor, sinner or saint. We’re All in. We all belong in the eyes of God. Messy insides and ups and downs, it’s all covered in the circle of grace. Deep exhale, we can relax, because we all belong. We are all covered in the sight of God.
So whether or not some human thinks we belong, really doesn’t matter does it? I feel like I should worry less about what the Barista is thinking and more about who am I showing grace to? Who am I opening up the circle for? God gives us grace over and over again, so we should give it to our neighbors over and over again. They’re in God’s circle of grace so why are we boxing them out? Open up that circle and let everyone in.
What it comes down to is this: we believe a big lie that we are alone. Right? No one else could possibly understand what we are going through, but it’s just not true. We’re all here together and grace says we’re in. We can lean on each other with the knowledge that all of us have stuff going going on and it’s okay to share the messy stuff. Whether you choose to share it or not, you belong.
So heres a new goal for myself that I hope you’ll join in on with me. I’m going to be confident that I belong and help others remember they belong too.
But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.